What was the first “green flag” you noticed in your partner?

[Answered on Quora.com by Alma]

My husband is a very shy man. So much so, that when we went out on a first date, he barely even looked at me. I very reluctantly accepted to go out on a second date, which ended up being pretty much the same. This led me to believe that there’s just no chemistry between us, and that it’s best we end it at that point. I really liked him, but didn’t want to get hurt as I thought he might be an emotionally unavailable person. My husband’s reaction was to say:

“Okay, this makes me very sad, but if you don’t think going out with me makes sense, there’s just no point going forward. However, may I ask for a reason?”

I have to admit I was surprised hearing such a response. Men I tried dating would typically get very angry, insult me, curse at me, or say something to humiliate me, which made me wary of rejecting someone openly.

I explained to him how I felt, to which my husband said that he actually likes me a lot, but is extremely shy, and that if I would like to go out with him again, he would be more open. On our third date he greeted me with a big grin and a warm hug and from then on we were inseparable.

So the first “green flag” in my partner was his ability to calmly accept rejection without perceiving that his ego has been hurt.