What are the potential causes of extreme emotional dysregulation in adults who were diagnosed with autism or Aspergers later in life?

[Answered on Quora.com by Becky]

There are probably a lot of answers, but I'm just going to throw out a couple.

The autistic brain is wired in ways that make it harder to regulate emotion to begin with. For some this means controlling big emotions, and for some it means difficulty feeling or recognizing emotions at all. Not that they're not there, they're just almost disconnected.

The autistic brain is also wired to be more likely to store memories as trauma. That means that things that may not look traumatic to someone else may genuinely be traumatic to an autistic person. This happens to everyone on occasion. We all have things that are more traumatic for us than makes sense, but it is more common and more likely for autistic people.

Autistic people are more likely to have major trauma, including abuse, bullying, and even parental divorce. Sad, but true. Trauma causes disregulation because the brain reacts to perceived danger instead of the actual situation at hand.

Late-diagnosed autistic adults grew up without understanding why they reacted differently to so many things. Many were told to not over-react, not be so sensitive, etc. So instead of being taught how to regulate their emotions with love, validation, and soothing, which wires a child's brain for self- soothing and emotional regulation, they were taught, often by well-meaning parents, to ignore and shut off their emotions. This increases the disconnect and makes it harder to recognize and regulate emotions.

Finding out you are autistic and learning about autism can help Counseling can be incredibly helpful and healing, especially if you have a therapist who is good with trauma.