If you've been diagnosed with Asperger's or autism, do you ever mention it up-front in talks or discussions with people?

If you've been diagnosed with Asperger's or autism, do you ever mention it up-front in talks or discussions with people? Why or why not? When I do, most people say, "Oh, I never would have guessed" or something like that. But sometimes I use it to explain why I am the way I am at times.

[Answered on Quora.com by Paul Holmes]

My wife is autistic. We only found out about 9 months ago. She always thought there was something different about her. So did I, and others. Many people on this forum are critical of the ways non autistic people react and criticise them for their lack of knowledge. But what about all the autistic people who don’t know they are? These people are also ignorant of their condition. Please don’t blame non autistic people for their lack of knowledge when many autistic people don’t know anything about it - or even that they are autistic themselves. I encouraged my wife to share her news with our close friends. We decided that if they didn’t respond well then maybe they weren’t such close friends. Everyone has been great. People assume that most strange or undesirable behaviour is linked to some kind of character flaw. We’re don’t instinctively think that someone is wired up differently - a bit like colour blindness. So it pays to not only share the news about your autism but also a bit of knowledge about the affect your wiring has on your behaviours. I used to think my wife’s lack of eye contact meant she was disinterested in or disliked what I was saying. I got confused when she asked if we could have a wedding party and then said how glad it was over. When I got cramp in my leg - which was in plaster following an Achilles rupture the night before - I got confused again when she didn’t react to my yelling in pain as I hit the wall with my fist to distract myself from the agony. A hundred other things weighed on my mind as I struggled to find answers to so many questions. Discovering she is autistic and what that meant was an absolute blessing. It has helped me understand and not take things the wrong way. So, my advice would be to help others understand what autism is and how it manifests in your behaviours. Good people are likely to respond well for the most part.