{Answered on Quora.com by Michael Fitzjohn}
The first step in fixing a problem is admitting you have one.
You correct being emotionally unavailable by knowing why you’re emotionally unavailable.
Many emotionally unavailable people I know have had horrible relationships and don’t want to be hurt again. They live with their pain and it hurts. They feel they won't have to experience pain by not letting anyone close to their heart again.
I was emotionally unavailable because I’ve always felt as if my soul died in Vietnam. Why not just live in a bubble and not let anyone enter it.
I had therapy and learned how to live in the present and how to stop past pain from keeping me from future joy.
Only when an emotionally unavailable talks to a therapist to find out how to untangle their feelings can they become emotionally available.
The person should concentrate on doing what they love in life; joy and love will find them when they’re not looking for it.
“Brokenness is just like beauty; it's something we wear and carry, and if we let it define us, it will. But we are not our beauty or our brokenness, because souls are not made of beauty or brokenness. Souls are made of something permanent. Souls are made of truth.”
― Lauren Miller, All Things New (www.goodreds.com/work/quotes)
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