[Answered on Quora.com by Lacy Windham]
“Put on your shoes, Lee,” I say to my seven-year-old son. He immediately starts putting together some Legos.
“Lee, we have to go, and you need to put on your shoes.”
He wanders off in the direction of the shoes, but stops to play with the cat.
“Lee, if you don't put on your shoes right now, we are going to be late.”
He stops playing with the cat, but remembers some Lego figurines he absolutely must bring with us and runs upstairs to get them. I don't hear from him, as he presumably has forgotten his mission and is now playing with something else.
“Lee! Come downstairs and let's go!”
He comes downstairs and immediately wanders into the pantry to find a pop tart or something.
“LEE! PUT YOUR SHOES ON!!”
“You don't need to yell, mom!” he replies, as he continues not putting on his shoes.
Sometimes parents flip out for excellent reasons that will forever remain mysterious to the child.
Tuesday, January 30, 2024
Sunday, January 28, 2024
What is a funny story that happened due to language barrier?
[from Ted Sas]
When I was in my twenties, I was going out with a Hungarian girl whose parents worked at the Hungarian Embassy in London. Her mother's English was not good - but okay for casual chatting.
One evening the mother turned to me and asked, “What is this word cunt mean?”
I was floored by how to answer that - my mind raced, and to get time I asked, “How do people say this word to you?” Her reply was, “In the shops, people say, 'I cunt help you at the moment, I have other customers.'”
Whewwww! That was one of those time when slowing down the conversation saved so much possible aggravation and confusion.
When I was in my twenties, I was going out with a Hungarian girl whose parents worked at the Hungarian Embassy in London. Her mother's English was not good - but okay for casual chatting.
One evening the mother turned to me and asked, “What is this word cunt mean?”
I was floored by how to answer that - my mind raced, and to get time I asked, “How do people say this word to you?” Her reply was, “In the shops, people say, 'I cunt help you at the moment, I have other customers.'”
Whewwww! That was one of those time when slowing down the conversation saved so much possible aggravation and confusion.
Friday, January 26, 2024
What is the funniest joke you've been told that you still think about to this day?
[from Sue Spencer]
After a few years of married life, a man finds that he is unable to perform.
He goes to his doctor, and his doctor tries a few things but nothing works. Finally, the doctor says to him "This is all in your mind" and refers him to a psychiatrist.
After a few visits to the shrink, he confesses, "I am at a loss as to how you could possibly be cured." Eventually, the psychiatrist refers him to a witch doctor.
The witch doctor says, "I can cure this." He throws some powder on a flame, and there is a flash of billowing blue smoke. The witch doctor says "This is powerful healing, but you can only use it once a year! All you have to do is say '123' and it shall rise for as long as you wish!"
The guy then asks the witch doctor "What happens when it's over?" The witch doctor says "All you or your partner has to say is '1234' and it will go down. But be warned; it will not work again for a year!"
The guy goes home and that night he is ready to surprise his wife with the good news. So, he is lying in bed with her and says "123," and suddenly he gets an erection.
His wife turns over and says "What did you say '123' for?"
After a few years of married life, a man finds that he is unable to perform.
He goes to his doctor, and his doctor tries a few things but nothing works. Finally, the doctor says to him "This is all in your mind" and refers him to a psychiatrist.
After a few visits to the shrink, he confesses, "I am at a loss as to how you could possibly be cured." Eventually, the psychiatrist refers him to a witch doctor.
The witch doctor says, "I can cure this." He throws some powder on a flame, and there is a flash of billowing blue smoke. The witch doctor says "This is powerful healing, but you can only use it once a year! All you have to do is say '123' and it shall rise for as long as you wish!"
The guy then asks the witch doctor "What happens when it's over?" The witch doctor says "All you or your partner has to say is '1234' and it will go down. But be warned; it will not work again for a year!"
The guy goes home and that night he is ready to surprise his wife with the good news. So, he is lying in bed with her and says "123," and suddenly he gets an erection.
His wife turns over and says "What did you say '123' for?"
Sunday, January 21, 2024
Saturday, January 20, 2024
Is there a way to crash the Moon into Earth? I want to eventually invent a device that does so, but where do I begin with physics?
[Answered on Quora.com by Mats Andersson]
Well ... The Moon’s kinetic energy is in the region of 3.8×10^28 J. If you make it come to a dead stop in its orbit, it’ll fall down on Earth. You’d probably get away with less, but we’re doing back-of-a-napkin calculations here.
To stop it, you simply apply 3.8×10^28 J in the opposite direction. You could do it as in the 70s TV show Space: 1999, and have nuclear explosions throw the Moon out of orbit (of course, in the show, they went away from Earth, amazingly arriving at a new solar system every week, but hey, it’s pretty clear from the plots that the writers were smoking things most of us aren’t… am I off-topic yet?).
So. Nukes. One megaton is equivalent to 4.18 × 10^15 J. So you’d need 10^13 nukes, give or take. That’s ten trillion nukes, and the world supply is in the region of 10,000, which falls a bit short.
You’ll need to invent an energy source with the output of ten trillion nukes.
Also, you’ll need to be careful not to apply it in one go; the gravitational binding energy of the Moon is 1.2 x 10^29 J, meaning that if you overdo it only slightly, the Moon will be vapourised by all the imparted energy, and even if you get it exactly right, you’re probably making a rather large dent in it. (I think I’m going to mention this to Randall Munroe, he’d make a lovely What If? story out of this.)
I think the easiest way would be to slam a few asteroids into the Moon, actually. A 400km asteroid, like asteroid 10 Hygiea, would do the trick. Now, all you have to do is to find a way to accelerate Hygiea to that it collides with the Moon… which is, admittedly, not actually easier than just depositing the energy on the Moon in a less drastic fashion.
Of course, it’s a lot simpler if you aren’t in a hurry.
Say you construct a solar panel array that you use to drive a rail gun, shooting off pieces of the Moon itself to slow its orbital motion. Say that you can shoot 2kg every second at a velocity of 10km/s; that’s better than existing rail guns but it doesn’t seem wildly implausible. That’s 10^8 J per second, so you’ll need to keep it up for 3.8 x10^20 seconds.
That’s 12 trillion years. 1,000 times as long as the Universe has existed.
OK 2 tons every second at a velocity of 100km/s.
You’ll need to wait for 120 million years.
Sorry. I can’t figure out a reasonable way for you even only considering the basic energy requirements.
Also ... I think that if you go ahead with this, someone might actually try to stop you.
Well ... The Moon’s kinetic energy is in the region of 3.8×10^28 J. If you make it come to a dead stop in its orbit, it’ll fall down on Earth. You’d probably get away with less, but we’re doing back-of-a-napkin calculations here.
To stop it, you simply apply 3.8×10^28 J in the opposite direction. You could do it as in the 70s TV show Space: 1999, and have nuclear explosions throw the Moon out of orbit (of course, in the show, they went away from Earth, amazingly arriving at a new solar system every week, but hey, it’s pretty clear from the plots that the writers were smoking things most of us aren’t… am I off-topic yet?).
So. Nukes. One megaton is equivalent to 4.18 × 10^15 J. So you’d need 10^13 nukes, give or take. That’s ten trillion nukes, and the world supply is in the region of 10,000, which falls a bit short.
You’ll need to invent an energy source with the output of ten trillion nukes.
Also, you’ll need to be careful not to apply it in one go; the gravitational binding energy of the Moon is 1.2 x 10^29 J, meaning that if you overdo it only slightly, the Moon will be vapourised by all the imparted energy, and even if you get it exactly right, you’re probably making a rather large dent in it. (I think I’m going to mention this to Randall Munroe, he’d make a lovely What If? story out of this.)
I think the easiest way would be to slam a few asteroids into the Moon, actually. A 400km asteroid, like asteroid 10 Hygiea, would do the trick. Now, all you have to do is to find a way to accelerate Hygiea to that it collides with the Moon… which is, admittedly, not actually easier than just depositing the energy on the Moon in a less drastic fashion.
Of course, it’s a lot simpler if you aren’t in a hurry.
Say you construct a solar panel array that you use to drive a rail gun, shooting off pieces of the Moon itself to slow its orbital motion. Say that you can shoot 2kg every second at a velocity of 10km/s; that’s better than existing rail guns but it doesn’t seem wildly implausible. That’s 10^8 J per second, so you’ll need to keep it up for 3.8 x10^20 seconds.
That’s 12 trillion years. 1,000 times as long as the Universe has existed.
OK 2 tons every second at a velocity of 100km/s.
You’ll need to wait for 120 million years.
Sorry. I can’t figure out a reasonable way for you even only considering the basic energy requirements.
Also ... I think that if you go ahead with this, someone might actually try to stop you.
Friday, January 19, 2024
What's the greatest single act of will that you have ever seen?
[Answered on Quora.com by C. Casassa]
My cousin was dying of cancer and was suffering with extreme pain and becoming more and more emaciated for 3 years. He was told he only had a matter of days left before he would die. Then, his little sister got engaged. She was a 21 year old girl who adored her bearded, barrel chested, burly bear of a brother. He was a blond haired, blue eyed man who was the focal point of every room he walked in. You know how some people just have a energy that attracts everyone around? He had that vibe. She didn't really ask, it was more a wistful “I wish you could be there … .”
The soonest date her fiance could get free from the military was ten months. The family pulled every string it could, including petitioning senators and congressmen, but the date was set in stone.
This cadaverous man forced himself to eat and drink , even though he would throw up most of it. He forced his will upon cancer and was there for his sister's wedding. He waited until she came home from her 10 day honeymoon and passed away the next day. This is without a doubt, the greatest single act of will that I have ever seen!
We were close as brothers from the time he was adopted as a baby. I could never view this as anything but what it was… the ultimate statement of love from a big brother to his little sister.
Not a day goes by that I don't miss him.
My cousin was dying of cancer and was suffering with extreme pain and becoming more and more emaciated for 3 years. He was told he only had a matter of days left before he would die. Then, his little sister got engaged. She was a 21 year old girl who adored her bearded, barrel chested, burly bear of a brother. He was a blond haired, blue eyed man who was the focal point of every room he walked in. You know how some people just have a energy that attracts everyone around? He had that vibe. She didn't really ask, it was more a wistful “I wish you could be there … .”
The soonest date her fiance could get free from the military was ten months. The family pulled every string it could, including petitioning senators and congressmen, but the date was set in stone.
This cadaverous man forced himself to eat and drink , even though he would throw up most of it. He forced his will upon cancer and was there for his sister's wedding. He waited until she came home from her 10 day honeymoon and passed away the next day. This is without a doubt, the greatest single act of will that I have ever seen!
We were close as brothers from the time he was adopted as a baby. I could never view this as anything but what it was… the ultimate statement of love from a big brother to his little sister.
Not a day goes by that I don't miss him.
Tuesday, January 16, 2024
Trump joke
It was a snowy day at the White House and President Trump decided to walk outside to clear his head. As he strolled around the Rose Garden, he noticed yellow, cursive writing, peed into the snow, that read, “Convict Trump!”
Outraged, Trump demanded that the Secret Service investigate. After a thorough inquiry, a Secret Service agent approached Trump and said, “We’ve completed our investigation. I’m afraid we have two bad pieces of information for you. The first is that the urine in the snow matches the urine of Vice President Pence.”
Trump reeled from the news and said, “That’s terrible, an offense the likes of which the world has never seen before. I can’t imagine anything worse. Did you say there were two pieces of bad news? What’s the second one?”
The agent responded, “The handwriting is Melania’s.”
Outraged, Trump demanded that the Secret Service investigate. After a thorough inquiry, a Secret Service agent approached Trump and said, “We’ve completed our investigation. I’m afraid we have two bad pieces of information for you. The first is that the urine in the snow matches the urine of Vice President Pence.”
Trump reeled from the news and said, “That’s terrible, an offense the likes of which the world has never seen before. I can’t imagine anything worse. Did you say there were two pieces of bad news? What’s the second one?”
The agent responded, “The handwriting is Melania’s.”
Tuesday, January 9, 2024
How can we determine if someone genuinely wants to change for the better or if they are just trying to manipulate our perception of them?
[Answered on Quora.com by Iris Smaus]
Only when actual change begins to occur. Most of us know we have a problem, but solving it is what seems overwhelming to so many, hence the promises that are not kept. They may be genuinely wanting to change, but wanting to and achieving it can be very far apart. Maybe they’ve even tried in the past and failed, and that can create significant self-doubt in the individual, sadly. This is particularly true with addiction and those with anger issues. They know it’s a problem, they just don’t have confidence they can fix it, that they’re up to the task, because it takes a lot of effort and self-examination, and those are difficult for a lot of people.
If it’s someone we’re close to, we can remain supportive while keeping a realistic wait and see attitude. Putting the person down, calling them out constantly will work against those goals. As long as we do that we’re placing ourselves in a superior position that will only make the other person feel worse, and most likely avoid us and our finger pointing in the future. When we’re at our wit’s end with someone and they’ve exhausted us, we have every right to remove ourselves, at least temporarily - refusing to engage with the person who is causing us grief. ‘Keep me posted on how things are going!’ leaves them with a positive note, but we can be unavailable until we see some progress. There’s no reason to allow others with problems to drag us down with them, it won’t help them and it won’t benefit us.
Only when actual change begins to occur. Most of us know we have a problem, but solving it is what seems overwhelming to so many, hence the promises that are not kept. They may be genuinely wanting to change, but wanting to and achieving it can be very far apart. Maybe they’ve even tried in the past and failed, and that can create significant self-doubt in the individual, sadly. This is particularly true with addiction and those with anger issues. They know it’s a problem, they just don’t have confidence they can fix it, that they’re up to the task, because it takes a lot of effort and self-examination, and those are difficult for a lot of people.
If it’s someone we’re close to, we can remain supportive while keeping a realistic wait and see attitude. Putting the person down, calling them out constantly will work against those goals. As long as we do that we’re placing ourselves in a superior position that will only make the other person feel worse, and most likely avoid us and our finger pointing in the future. When we’re at our wit’s end with someone and they’ve exhausted us, we have every right to remove ourselves, at least temporarily - refusing to engage with the person who is causing us grief. ‘Keep me posted on how things are going!’ leaves them with a positive note, but we can be unavailable until we see some progress. There’s no reason to allow others with problems to drag us down with them, it won’t help them and it won’t benefit us.
Monday, January 8, 2024
Triggers (from daily ACA email)
"We often cannot avoid triggers, but we can change the way we deal with them."
"They really know how to push my buttons!" How often have we said this to ourselves or heard others say it? The buttons are the repressed memories or resentments we have stored in that place in our mind and body that we never want to visit.
So when someone says or does something that awakens those memories, the battle begins. It's as if these old memories and resentments are poised at the gate, waiting to get out, waiting for us to finally deal with them, and reminding us that until we do, they will always be there.
Unlike most other recovery programs, ACA encourages us to resurrect those memories and resentments and put them on the table in a safe and loving environment. In doing so, the miracle happens. They begin to lose their power, and little by little we find that we can, in fact, deal with them without feeling as helpless as we did when the events actually occurred.
ACA is the safe place that allows this to happen. Our fellow travelers have also been that scared five-year-old, and they know how we feel.
On this day I know that taking away the power of old memories will also take away the power of the triggers.
"They really know how to push my buttons!" How often have we said this to ourselves or heard others say it? The buttons are the repressed memories or resentments we have stored in that place in our mind and body that we never want to visit.
So when someone says or does something that awakens those memories, the battle begins. It's as if these old memories and resentments are poised at the gate, waiting to get out, waiting for us to finally deal with them, and reminding us that until we do, they will always be there.
Unlike most other recovery programs, ACA encourages us to resurrect those memories and resentments and put them on the table in a safe and loving environment. In doing so, the miracle happens. They begin to lose their power, and little by little we find that we can, in fact, deal with them without feeling as helpless as we did when the events actually occurred.
ACA is the safe place that allows this to happen. Our fellow travelers have also been that scared five-year-old, and they know how we feel.
On this day I know that taking away the power of old memories will also take away the power of the triggers.
Sunday, January 7, 2024
Can you think of a difficult situation at work that made both you and your boss uncomfortable? How was it resolved (if it was)?
[Answerred on Quora.com bu Ross Green]
I'm male and so was my boss. Can't remember what I'd done to piss him off, but he was right in my face, I mean 1 inch away, and I like space, so I tried backing off. He followed. I kept backing off until my back was to the wall. Very uncomfortable for me, so with no option left, I leaned that 1 inch forward and kissed him on the lips. Certainly resolved the situation because the look of horror on his face when he turned and ran away was priceless.
I'm male and so was my boss. Can't remember what I'd done to piss him off, but he was right in my face, I mean 1 inch away, and I like space, so I tried backing off. He followed. I kept backing off until my back was to the wall. Very uncomfortable for me, so with no option left, I leaned that 1 inch forward and kissed him on the lips. Certainly resolved the situation because the look of horror on his face when he turned and ran away was priceless.
Wednesday, January 3, 2024
an Irish girl comes back for the New Year
[Posted on Quora.com by Stefania Molinari]
This joke contains some strong language - might not be suitable for all audiences. Reader discretion is advised.
An Irish girl comes back home for New Year's.
Her father asks her, "Where have you been, all this time? Why did you not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't you call?"
The girl, crying, replies, "Dad, I became a prostitute."
"What?! Out of here, you shameless harlot! You're a disgrace to this family."
"Okay, Daddy. If that's your wish. I just came back to give Mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten-bedroom mansion plus a savings certificate for £4 million."
"For me little brother, this gold Rolex, and for you, Daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside, plus a membership to the country club and an invitation for you all to spend a fun New Year's Eve on board me new yacht in the Riviera, and ..."
"Now, what was it ye said you had become, again?" asks Dad.
Girl, crying, again, "A prostitute, Dad!"
"Oh! You scared me half to death, girl! I thought you said a Protestant. Come here and give your old man a hug!"
This joke contains some strong language - might not be suitable for all audiences. Reader discretion is advised.
An Irish girl comes back home for New Year's.
Her father asks her, "Where have you been, all this time? Why did you not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't you call?"
The girl, crying, replies, "Dad, I became a prostitute."
"What?! Out of here, you shameless harlot! You're a disgrace to this family."
"Okay, Daddy. If that's your wish. I just came back to give Mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten-bedroom mansion plus a savings certificate for £4 million."
"For me little brother, this gold Rolex, and for you, Daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside, plus a membership to the country club and an invitation for you all to spend a fun New Year's Eve on board me new yacht in the Riviera, and ..."
"Now, what was it ye said you had become, again?" asks Dad.
Girl, crying, again, "A prostitute, Dad!"
"Oh! You scared me half to death, girl! I thought you said a Protestant. Come here and give your old man a hug!"
Tuesday, January 2, 2024
How can you find out how someone really feels about you without asking them directly or giving too many hints that you want to know?
[Answered on Quora.com by Sattahip]
Try texting, with long and deep conversations. Open yourself up, be honest. See if they text you back in the same manner. Vía texting you can touch the water. Vía asking question you can figure out their feelings.
[Note from Anna: I am laughing heartily about this advice!]
Try texting, with long and deep conversations. Open yourself up, be honest. See if they text you back in the same manner. Vía texting you can touch the water. Vía asking question you can figure out their feelings.
[Note from Anna: I am laughing heartily about this advice!]
Monday, January 1, 2024
I have a problem with my relationship. I can’t say anything critical (constructive criticism), I can’t even speak out when my partner does something wrong that hurt my feelings, without him getting mad. What can I do about this situation?
{Answered on Quora.com by Andrew Weill]
My wife could have written this question, about 29 years ago. At that time, I was hugely defensive if criticized. I put the blame on my wife and convinced myself that the problem was all her.
My wife told me that while she loved me, we had to find a better way to communicate. We had three young children, health issues, a difficult custody situation with my ex-wife, and many other areas where quality communication and the freedom to speak one’s mind was crucial. My wife proposed that we agree to work on this, by attending workshops, taking a parenting class, and seeing a marriage counselor.
I agreed, but I must admit that I went into this with the arrogant assumption that the counselors and workshop leaders would help straighten my wife out. I wasn’t the problem person, no siree!
Well … that’s not how it went. I learned that the way I was behaving actually interfered with achieving the level of intimacy I wanted. I needed to learn how to listen empathetically, without arguments, defenses, interruptions, or lectures.
And once I started really listening, and made it safe for my wife to express herself to me, the relationship took a turn for the better.
You might consider showing this question and my answer to your partner. You could ask, “Would you be willing to try doing what that couple did? All I want is for our relationship to be the very best it can be. Can we try counseling and workshops and see if we like that approach?”
It was challenging work for me to really come to terms with some of my behaviors that were simply improper and at times hurtful. It’s still painful to remember.
But we persevered, and the rewards have been magnificent.
My wife could have written this question, about 29 years ago. At that time, I was hugely defensive if criticized. I put the blame on my wife and convinced myself that the problem was all her.
My wife told me that while she loved me, we had to find a better way to communicate. We had three young children, health issues, a difficult custody situation with my ex-wife, and many other areas where quality communication and the freedom to speak one’s mind was crucial. My wife proposed that we agree to work on this, by attending workshops, taking a parenting class, and seeing a marriage counselor.
I agreed, but I must admit that I went into this with the arrogant assumption that the counselors and workshop leaders would help straighten my wife out. I wasn’t the problem person, no siree!
Well … that’s not how it went. I learned that the way I was behaving actually interfered with achieving the level of intimacy I wanted. I needed to learn how to listen empathetically, without arguments, defenses, interruptions, or lectures.
And once I started really listening, and made it safe for my wife to express herself to me, the relationship took a turn for the better.
You might consider showing this question and my answer to your partner. You could ask, “Would you be willing to try doing what that couple did? All I want is for our relationship to be the very best it can be. Can we try counseling and workshops and see if we like that approach?”
It was challenging work for me to really come to terms with some of my behaviors that were simply improper and at times hurtful. It’s still painful to remember.
But we persevered, and the rewards have been magnificent.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)