As a transgender man, I know my mother grieves for the daughter she has lost. How do I help her without making her feel worse?

[Answered on Quora.com by Petey Lao]

Every once in a while, I grieve for my daughter’s passing youth and innocence. I reminisce about the time she was a helpless baby, when she first learned to speak, and the entire year, “I love you, Papa,” was all she ever said.

As my daughter grows up, I know that the little girl who used to run into my bed after a bad dream is left behind. She’s gone forever. I will never get her back.

But, I get to watch my daughter grow into an amazing human being.

I know I’m not alone in this. Every parent of a cisgender or transgender child feels some sort of yearning - the longing for the simpler times.

Your becoming your authentic self did not end your mother’s relationship with her young daughter. Time did. Her grief for your past is not your fault. You cannot make it worse.

Keep showing up as the son your mother can be proud of. Only you can introduce her to the wonder that is your truth.