What are the funniest italian jokes?

{Answered on Quora.com by Jetbudgie II]

Thank you to the genius poet John Cooper Clarke for this gem - (excuse the swearing, but it’s how he told it)

A man is at the barber and makes conversation.

The barber asks him "You going anywhere for your holidays?"

The man says, "Me and my wife are going to Rome".

"Why do you want to go to Rome?"

"I love Italian food".

"Well, it's all fish and chip shops in Rome."

"Well, I'm also going for the sunshine".

"It was constantly pissing rain when I was last there."

"Well, I like Romanesque architecture."

"Romanesque architecture is out of the question, it's all industrialized and there's corrugated iron everywhere you look."

"Well, the real reason why we're going to Rome is because my wife and I want to see the Pope before we die."

"Yeah, you and 65 million more of the faithful crowded in the Vatican. You won't see the Pope, in fact you'll be lucky if you see the top of his hat."

About a month later, he goes back to the barber, having gone to Italy.

The barber asks him "Aren't you the fella that went to Italy?"

The man replies "Yeah."

The barber asks him "So, how was it?”

“The food was fantastic! Sunshine, wonderful, the Romanesque architecture has to be seen to be believed.

“Did you see the Pope?"

The man replies, "Yeah I did. My wife and I along with 65 million other Catholics were crowded in the Vatican, and I could just barely make out the top of his hat before I saw him point his bejeweled staff towards me. The crowd parted to a man. He came down the stairs and walked right up to me and asked, "Who cut your fucking hair?"