What is the biggest life lesson you have ever learned?

[Answered on Quora.com by Sean Kernan]

I’ll probably never be as successful as my dad and I’m perfectly OK with that.

If anything I’m proud of him. At one point he was overseeing a $50 billion annual budget as Undersecretary of Defense. The dude earned his Wikipedia page.

My father is also an excellent case study. He is certainly very smart. But it wasn’t like he was always the smartest guy in the room. In fact, he was keenly aware when he wasn’t. Yet many of my dad’s peers, who were smarter on paper, fell way short of his success.

Why? It’s mainly because of his people skills and his diligence. He is an excellent listener. He knows how to dial in and pick up on what is important. He is also conscientious and very ethical. He treats people equally regardless of their position.

I’d say if anything, my dad’s superpower is the ability to size people up quickly and judge their character.

He has a special distaste for self-serving people, which is probably because of his career with SEAL teams, where teamwork is a religion.

This is where many highly intelligent people fail. They lack the soft skills, the ability to relate with many types of people.

Cliche as it sounds, many gifted people also have an underlying arrogance they mask. Business textbooks are filled with case studies of executives’ careers being destroyed by pride. My girlfriend is a college professor and complains constantly about the incessant egos at academic conferences.

And to be fair, I can’t totally blame them. When a person is told from birth that they are brilliant, and their test scores affirm that praise, and they live in a world that prizes intelligence — it is probably hard to stay 100% humble.

No matter how talented you are, remember you are dealing with human beings in your career. Success isn’t a MENSA test. Soft skills matter—bigtime.

Be nice to the secretary.