What is some surprisingly good advice you've received from a convict?

[Answered on Quora.com by Jesus Alex Lechuga]

I met this guy in prison that had been locked up for over 10 years. He was a hard core gang member.

The first time that I saw him, I didn't like him. Actually, I know this is wrong, but I sort of hated him. The guy intimidated me just by being there. He was one of those guys that you look at and wonder how many people he has killed.

Anyway, he turned out to be a decent man. This individual shook my hand one day, and asked me if I was in a gang. Inside I'm wondering whether or not I should seek help. That's how scary this guy looked.

We talked for a while and the conversation was nothing like I expected. This man told me that he was doing a 25-year sentence because he killed his cousin after coming home to find him in bed with his spouse. It was considered a crime of passion. He said that he regretted doing this because it haunts him every single day.

He took a class in prison so that he wouldn't be on the system as a verified gang member.

I started opening up to my new friend, he laced me up about who I should stay away from, and he said “you're going to be tested over and over again. You should learn how to discipline yourself by walking away from confrontations. It will be hard at first, and you will feel a little angry, but proving yourself in this place is going to be nothing but a freak show for most of these guys. You're going to satisfy their cravings for violence but in the end you will lose whether you win the fight or not. Think of every single one of these guys as if they were your brothers.”

I didn't really agree with this guy but later on, whenever I started feeling anger towards certain individuals, I thought of them as my brother, Mark. I saw some kind of characteristic of my brother in some of these guys. This made me realize what this man was talking about. There were times that I felt like pummeling some of these inmates, but I just imagined the same thing happening to my baby brother, and this totally made me forget my anger.

I stayed case free for the whole three years that I was in prison. It was not easy, but that advice that I received is mostly what saved me from either hurting someone, or getting hurt myself.