[Answered by Sean Kernan on Quora.com]
In 1969, UCLA psychologist Dr. Robert Rosenthal did an IQ experiment.
He met with two grade-school teachers. He gave them a list of names from their new student body (20% of the class). He said that each person on that list had taken a special test and would emerge as highly intelligent within the next 12 months.
In reality, those students were chosen totally at random. As a group, they were of average intelligence.
The incredible finding is that, when they tested those children near the end of the year, each demonstrated significant increases in their IQ scores.
So what happened? Why?
The teacher’s own behavior towards those students affected the outcomes.
They gave the fake-talented students more attention. When one raised their hand to answer a question, the teacher often followed up to get better clarification. The teachers were more positive and encouraging to those students.
Meanwhile, the teacher was much shorter with students they deemed subpar. Rosenthal speculated the teacher figured the student might be dumb, so why go the extra mile?
Dr. Rosenthal said, “When we expect certain behaviors of others, we are likely to act in ways that make the expected behavior more likely to occur.”
The opposite of the Pygmalion effect is the Golem Effect; it occurs when our negative expectations generate negative results. This is partly why internalizing stereotypes is damaging.
What can we learn from these effects? Two things.
The first thing
The children in Rosenthal’s study began to internalize the belief that they were special. They bought into the idea, “I am smart so I can do this.”
Their self-efficacy grew and evolved and they stopped indulging in self-limiting beliefs.
The act of believing something to be true can impact every aspect of our life. For example, OK Cupid’s founder, Christian Rudder, did a Pygmalion experiment with online dating.
Researchers lied to users. They reversed the matching algorithm on a select group of singles, pairing them with people who were objectively incompatible. And told them they were high probability matches.
Because the participants believed they had chemistry, they messaged each other and began flirting. They were friendlier and gave each other a shot. Some ended up together.
And now, somewhere out there, someone is banging their nemesis.
We position ourselves to thrive by surrounding ourselves with people who believe in us and hold us to a high standard.
This is why toxic people have such a devastating effect on your life.
The second: Become your own teacher or mentor
Think about a good boss versus a bad boss.
A good boss knows how to communicate and holds you to high but reasonable expectations. They give you useful feedback rather than waiting for you to make a mistake and scold you.
A bad boss does the opposite of those things.
Being an effective mentor to yourself comes down to having a growth mindset.
Someone with a fixed mindset thinks their identity is pre-determined.
They are often self-defeating.
“What’s the point. I’m stupid.”
“I’m too lazy to get in shape.”
“Nobody in my family is successful so I won’t be.”
People with a growth mindset dismiss these things. They are persistent.
They choose to march forward and keep fighting. They stay defiant in the face of difficult odds. They don’t seek out reasons they can’t win.
And they are often the most successful people in the world.
The good news? The fact that you are here reading this self-help article suggests you are likely of a growth mindset.
The takeaway is simple:
- Surround yourself with great people who hold you to a high but reasonable standard.
- Treat yourself like another person who you are responsible for. Treat yourself like that student who is talented.
- Have the courage to believe in yourself even if nobody else does. Become a prophet of your own success.
Saturday, May 13, 2023
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