Seussical: "Notice Me Horton"

"Pierre Bensusan "Awali"

Flying Colors "Blue Ocean" (Third Stage: Live In London)

Jim Croce "A Good Time Man Like Me Ain't Got No Business singin' the blues

Jim White "Combing My Hair In a Brand New Style"




U2 "Moment of Surrender"

Drive By Truckers "Sounds Better In the Song"

"Thorazine Shuffle" Tutorial - Part 1

This (love, connections, + ... +) is part of the Matrix

Eric Clapton "Let It Grow" 2011 Remaster

Dr. Gabor Maté on How to Process Anger and Rage | The Tim Ferriss Show

Letting Go (from daily ACA email)

"To ask an adult child to surrender control is like asking someone to leap from an airplane without a parachute. Without recovery, an adult child can live in terror of letting go of control."

A counselor once said the reason adult children have such a tight death-grip on everything is because we're afraid if we let go, things won't be okay. Fear holds us in bondage. We learned it so well growing up from those we loved most. As children we were afraid to go home, afraid to leave home, afraid we did something wrong, afraid we weren't good enough, afraid somebody was going to get hit or kicked, or we feared for our lives…and the list goes on.

In the past, when things happened in our lives, we felt guilt or shame. We learned how to hold our breath and expect the worst. Today, in our recovery program, we learn many new behaviors, including letting go with the help of our Higher Power, our support group, our sponsor, and the roadmap of the Twelve Steps.

We learn to love and accept each other just the way we are. When conflict arises - and we know it will - we, as adult children, have the opportunity to practice each and every day how to become actors, not reactors, until we feel safe and comfortable.

On this day I will remember the slogan, ‘Let Go and Let God,' asking my Higher Power for the strength to relax and reflect on the things I am powerless over.

Critical Inner Voice (from daily ACA email)

"We can secretly tell ourselves that we cannot recover, or we cannot experience the benefits of the Steps. This is the subtle but critical inner voice, attempting to disqualify us from recovery."

We have all heard it said that humans, by nature, are creatures of habit. It doesn't seem to matter whether those habits are good for us or do us harm; they give us a certain level of comfort.

Recovery brings change that is often looked at suspiciously by those around us who are used to our dysfunction - it's a known quantity. Some of these people may feel threatened by our change and try to interfere with it. This is not uncommon and others in the program make us aware of this possibility.

But we also become aware of our critical inner parent that can try to sabotage our recovery with phrases like, "Maybe this is the wrong thing to do." "Will I even know who I am if I change?" "Maybe I'm too old to be doing this." When this voice surfaces, it's time to reach out to our fellow travelers for help and support.

On this day I will be aware of how my critical inner parent can try to plant doubts. To stay grounded, I reaffirm for myself that I am now on the right path.

Radiohead "Everything in its Right Place"

I think this is the most painful video I have ever seen!


And, as contrast:

Ed Sheeran "Shape of You" (official video)


Note that sustained, hard exercise is used in both videos as a [somewhat effective] coping mechanism, and transitional device to the next life phase.

Hard and sustained, committed exercise has been my go-to, many times. "It's good work, if you can get it." ;-)

These triggers are “the tell” that you were neglected & ostracized as a child

King Crimson in concert 29th September 1982 , Munich, Germany

Ask Amy: Was it wrong to return these unwanted letters to the sender?

Plus: My wife ordered a pricey meal and said she wanted to see if I had a heart attack
By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency, April 11, 2023 at 2:30 a.m.

Dear Amy: After I retired, I had time to go through boxes of personal papers that I had saved. These included letters that current friends and family had written to me over many years.
It was fun rereading many of these, but at this point in my life I don’t feel the need to keep them.
Instead of throwing them away, I decided that the sender might enjoy reading what they had written decades earlier, so I bundled packets of their individual letters off with notes to the effect: “Cleaning house! Here’s a blast from your past! Enjoy!”
Now months later, I have not heard back from one person.
I’m questioning whether I did something wrong.
I know that I would enjoy reading letters I wrote many years ago, but maybe that’s just me.
Should I have just destroyed these old letters, instead?
Cleaning in Culver City

Dear Cleaning: This was an extremely thoughtful thing to do. I can imagine that this gesture might have brought up a lot of feelings for the recipients, and I wonder, now that letter-writing seems to be on the decline, how future generations will chronicle their lives and long friendships.
I can’t imagine why people didn’t contact you to acknowledge this effort; I hope you will follow up to ask if they had reread their letters and enjoyed them as much as you had. Their responses might reveal some complicated emotions.

Dear Amy: My family is upper middle class. I love to dine out and at my instigation, we do it often.
I am also always seeking value in whatever I purchase, including restaurant meals. Bargains gravitate to me.
Our most recent meal at a fine restaurant came about when the restaurant was offering a weekday promotion of a 10-ounce strip steak with side dish for $19.95, considerably less than the normal price.
My wife ordered a 9-ounce bleu filet, which was $40.75 – one of the most expensive items on the menu.
When the check came, she said she was waiting to see if I would have a heart attack, indicating that she knew her dish was pricey.
My wife worked as an accountant before we were married. I am semi-retired and manage our investments and shop for the family.
We do quite well, financially, but this is a common pattern for us. My wife said that she does not look at prices and that if we are going out to dinner, she is going to order what she wants.
Although her expensive meals are not going to take food off of our table, it seems like poor form to me.
Your take?

Dear Hunter: You derive some very real joy and satisfaction from getting a good deal on a steak. And then, by having a heart attack at your wife’s choices, you deny her the same.
My basic take is that she is testing and teasing you. As much of an asset as your bargain hunting can be, this sort of hyperawareness of prices can also be annoying, especially when she’s trying to enjoy a night out.
My perspective is that you saved enough on your (discounted) meal for your wife to splurge on hers, making the meal basically a wash, financially. That was really nice of you!
You mention that you manage all the family finances and also “shop for the family.” Is this because you become too uncomfortable if your wife pays full price for something?
If you were able to cede some control, including your wife as a partner in your household decision-making, then she would be less likely to yank your chain when she has the chance.
You two obviously need to talk about this. If your wife’s choices make you anxious, then you should be honest about your feelings and reactions. If you two decided ahead of time on a reasonable budget for these dinners out, then you should be able to work together when you’re ordering.
Being generous toward your partner can feel positively expansive, but you interpret your own generosity as your wife taking from you, and you don’t seem to give her the opportunity to be generous in return.

Dear Amy: The newlywed “Daughter-in-law in Training” needs to stand her ground with her mother-in-law — politely (as you said), but firmly – even if she does not have her husband’s full support. Sometimes men cannot say no to their mothers, even when they want to. Been There

Dear Been There: I’ve noticed this phenomenon. Thank you for pointing it out.

It's mogul skiing to me

What makes you feel old?
[Answered on quora.com by Dushka Zapata]
Not that long ago, I was sleeping snug in my bed in my room in a town a few miles South of San Francisco when the phone began to ring.
It was early in the morning, maybe 7:00, and I was still sound asleep because I had stayed up late the night before.
It was my Dad.
“Dushka” he said. “Are you OK?”
Whah?
“Yes! I’m home. You woke me up! What’s going on?”
He sounded incoherent. My Dad was the most eloquent man I have ever known, so hearing him trip over his words alarmed me. I felt a sense of doom.
“Have you seen on TV what is going on?”
“Dad” I say again. “I was asleep”.
“Dad. What is happening?”
“I am watching on TV a spectacle Dante never imagined” he says. “A plane full of people just flew into one of the twin towers in New York City”.
I am recounting this horrific story to a woman who works in my office. “Wow,” she says. “So you remember everything.”
I look at her completely perplexed. “Of course I remember. I was in my early thirties”.
“Oh” she replies. “I was six”.

[N.B. from Anna: I was also the mother of a 6-year-old (and 2 others) when that event happened unto us.]