Thursday, September 29, 2022
Wednesday, September 28, 2022
Bee Gees "This Is Where I Came In"
I've seen the story
I've read it over once or twice
I said that you say
A little bit of bad advice
I've been in trouble
Happened to me all of my life
I've lied and you lie
And who would get the sharpest knife
You know I couldn't be somebody like that
I'm not the kind of man to throw his hat
Into the ring and
Go down without following through
The day turns into night
Go down following through
The day turns into night
Oh, oh, oh,
This is just where I came in
Hope rides on
But I'll go anywhere
Yes, I'll go anywhere with you
Time has gone
But I'll go anywhere
Yes, I'll go anywhere with you
This is the danger zone
This is where I came in
They know not what they do
Forgive them all their sins
They know they cannot take away
What you have given me
Oh, oh, oh,
This is just where I came in
Fade into color
Color into black and white
Under the bedclothes
Everything will be all right
I know that you know
Nothing ever stays the same
Said so, I said so
The love will never speak its name
Never gonna find somebody like you
Beauty with a brain and a body too
I could never make a move on a woman that leads me on
She's got a little bit of something for everyone
It's a little too late and the wolf is on the run
Hope rides on
But I'll go anywhere
Yes, I'll go anywhere with you
Time has gone
But I'll go anywhere
Yes, I'll go anywhere with you
I always told myself
I would regret this day
That I would fall apart
And watch you walk away
That you would cry out loud
And I would stand aside
Oh, oh, oh,
This is just where I came in
I can't fly
But I'll go anywhere
Yes, I'll go anywhere with you
This is the danger zone
This is where I came in
They know not what they do
Forgive them of their sins
They know they cannot take away
What you have given me
Oh, oh, oh,
This is just where I came in
Oh, oh, oh
Tuesday, September 27, 2022
Monday, September 26, 2022
Humility (from daily ACA email)
"With humility, we become more thoughtful in our decisions, and we are slower to anger. We begin to become actors rather than reactors to life's situations."
As children, we may have been humiliated and told we didn't measure up. As we grew, we decided we needed to prove our worth. When we accomplished things, we expected validation. Most decisions we made were geared to gaining this outward affirmation. If anyone disagreed with us, it felt like an attack. We lashed out and tried to punish them. We may have even further reacted by increasing our efforts to prove our worth.
We learn about humility, and that it has nothing to do with humiliation, a core wound. Humility is the way to inner peace and finding our True Self. If we do something for others, the world doesn't have to know. We don't need accolades. And where it was second nature for us to react first and lash out, we now take a step back and examine reality.
This change is not easy. Our insecurities and triggers are often just below the surface, and we can fall into old patterns. But when we use our new tools, we have more self-awareness. We learn to look in the mirror and feel at peace with what we see.
On this day I will remember that humility keeps me grounded and on equal footing with those around me. I don't have to be ‘greater than' to have value.
As children, we may have been humiliated and told we didn't measure up. As we grew, we decided we needed to prove our worth. When we accomplished things, we expected validation. Most decisions we made were geared to gaining this outward affirmation. If anyone disagreed with us, it felt like an attack. We lashed out and tried to punish them. We may have even further reacted by increasing our efforts to prove our worth.
We learn about humility, and that it has nothing to do with humiliation, a core wound. Humility is the way to inner peace and finding our True Self. If we do something for others, the world doesn't have to know. We don't need accolades. And where it was second nature for us to react first and lash out, we now take a step back and examine reality.
This change is not easy. Our insecurities and triggers are often just below the surface, and we can fall into old patterns. But when we use our new tools, we have more self-awareness. We learn to look in the mirror and feel at peace with what we see.
On this day I will remember that humility keeps me grounded and on equal footing with those around me. I don't have to be ‘greater than' to have value.
Sunday, September 25, 2022
Saturday, September 24, 2022
Friday, September 23, 2022
Resentment
[from daily ACA email]
"Before recovery, some of us spent countless hours in resentment"
Many of us come into ACA with seething resentments. We can be recognized by the hundred-pound resentment rock around our necks. Convinced that the rock was placed there by others, we hang onto it as if to let it go would cause us harm. The rock is content to remain where it is. However, the pain of carrying it may be too much.
Forgiving others has nothing to do with the other person. We do it for ourselves so we can let go of our own pain. We hear others say that praying daily to forgive the person we resent will eventually rid us of that resentment. We learn that we don't forgive the act, but do forgive the person.
Many of us who hear these things for the first time think it sounds foolish. But what else have we done that has been able to chip away at the poison our resentment has brought into our lives? So we try it, repeatedly, every day.
After a while, we notice a remarkable thing happening. The details that seemed so important and were feeding our ongoing resentment seem to be fading. Our rock is losing some of its weight.
On this day I do what has worked for so many others in recovery; I pray that the resentment I've been mired in for so long will be removed.
"Before recovery, some of us spent countless hours in resentment"
Many of us come into ACA with seething resentments. We can be recognized by the hundred-pound resentment rock around our necks. Convinced that the rock was placed there by others, we hang onto it as if to let it go would cause us harm. The rock is content to remain where it is. However, the pain of carrying it may be too much.
Forgiving others has nothing to do with the other person. We do it for ourselves so we can let go of our own pain. We hear others say that praying daily to forgive the person we resent will eventually rid us of that resentment. We learn that we don't forgive the act, but do forgive the person.
Many of us who hear these things for the first time think it sounds foolish. But what else have we done that has been able to chip away at the poison our resentment has brought into our lives? So we try it, repeatedly, every day.
After a while, we notice a remarkable thing happening. The details that seemed so important and were feeding our ongoing resentment seem to be fading. Our rock is losing some of its weight.
On this day I do what has worked for so many others in recovery; I pray that the resentment I've been mired in for so long will be removed.
Wednesday, September 21, 2022
Monday, September 19, 2022
The Devil Makes Three "Old Number 7"
I guess I grew up on an old dirt road
Pedal to the metal, always did what I [was] told
'Til I found out that my brand-new clothes
Came second-hand from the rich kids next door
And, I grew up fast, I guess I grew up mean
There's a thousand things inside my head I wish I ain't seen
And now I just wondered through a real bad dream
Feelin' like I'm coming apart at the seams
Thank you Jack Daniels Old Number Seven
Tennessee Whiskey got me drinking in heaven
Angels start to look good to me
They're gonna have to deport me to the firey deep
Thank you Jack Daniels Old Number Seven
Tennessee Whiskey got me drinking in heaven
I know I can't stay here too long
'Cause I can't go a week with out doing wrong
Without doing wrong
Without doing wrong
Without doing wrong
[Drinking in heaven]
So I'm sitting at the bar stool - it starts to grow roots
Feelin' like an old worn-out pair of shoes
Tell me what is it that I should do
When I'm swimming in the liquor only half-way through
So I'm watching as his wings spread as wide as could be
Come on now and wrap them around me
'Cause all I want to do now is fall asleep
Come down here and lay next to me
Thank you Jack Daniels Old Number Seven
Tennessee Whiskey got me drinking in heaven
Up here the bottle never runs dry
And you never wake up with those tears in your eyes
Thank you Jack Daniels Old Number Seven
Tennessee Whiskey got me drinking in heaven
Angels start to look good to me
They're gonna have to deport me to the fiery deep (Old Number Seven)
To the fiery deep (Drinkin' in heaven)
To the fiery deep (Old Number Seven)
To the fiery deep (Drinkin' in heaven)
Monday, September 12, 2022
Workplace ‘Family’
"It occurred to me while we were discussing the personality conflict that I was reacting to my co-worker's physical demeanor, which subconsciously reminded me of my brutal alcoholic stepfather."
Sometimes we don't even hear the words. A glare or body posture that's reminiscent of our childhood is enough to send us into fear and shame. We were taught to react this way by caregivers we felt we had to placate in order to get our basic needs met. Some of us were sexually abused in the process or physically beaten. In that world, we had no alternative. We were stuck.
But now we are grownups who can take care of ourselves. When we experience fear and shame brought on by someone else's actions, whether in the workplace or elsewhere, we no longer play the game. We start to let others be accountable for what they say and do and how they feel; we let go of the non-verbal cues. When it is safe, we ask questions. "It seems like you're upset. Is there something you would like to talk about?" We no longer pretend and try to manipulate people and things.
If the situation is dangerous, we remove ourselves, going to where we are nourished and loved. We are no longer controlled by others. We claim our power as an act of self-love.
On this day I will own my power. If others seem grouchy or unapproachable, I let that live with them and don't make it mine or try to fix it.
Sometimes we don't even hear the words. A glare or body posture that's reminiscent of our childhood is enough to send us into fear and shame. We were taught to react this way by caregivers we felt we had to placate in order to get our basic needs met. Some of us were sexually abused in the process or physically beaten. In that world, we had no alternative. We were stuck.
But now we are grownups who can take care of ourselves. When we experience fear and shame brought on by someone else's actions, whether in the workplace or elsewhere, we no longer play the game. We start to let others be accountable for what they say and do and how they feel; we let go of the non-verbal cues. When it is safe, we ask questions. "It seems like you're upset. Is there something you would like to talk about?" We no longer pretend and try to manipulate people and things.
If the situation is dangerous, we remove ourselves, going to where we are nourished and loved. We are no longer controlled by others. We claim our power as an act of self-love.
On this day I will own my power. If others seem grouchy or unapproachable, I let that live with them and don't make it mine or try to fix it.
Sunday, September 11, 2022
Friday, September 9, 2022
Inner Child (from daily ACA email)
"Family dysfunction drives the Inner Child into hiding, leaving states of fear that wander the adult's soul. While the Inner Child or True Self can be the spark of our creativity, we must also remember the child is a deeply hurt part of ourselves."
Long ago, in order to protect ourselves from the pain of having a dysfunctional family, we shut away our most vibrant essence, our True Self. Instinctively, we knew this tender and vulnerable part of us was unsafe and must be hidden away. Today, we may have lost touch with our True Self or Inner Child, forgetting he or she is waiting to be healed.
We have many buried hurts and disappointments that get triggered when we are reminded of the circumstances surrounding our original pain. It is then that our Inner Child reacts and we may find ourselves engaged in self-destructive behaviors if we don't provide appropriate comfort and reassurance.
When we work the ACA program and take the time to uncover our pain while treating our Inner Child with unconditional love, we begin to heal. Having the courage to listen will expose the pain we denied for so long. It also will bring back to life our childlike joy and wonder. We give voice to the child within so we can finally resolve the lifetime of pain he or she has shouldered.
On this day I unconditionally support my Inner Child so we both have the freedom to heal and feel safe.
Long ago, in order to protect ourselves from the pain of having a dysfunctional family, we shut away our most vibrant essence, our True Self. Instinctively, we knew this tender and vulnerable part of us was unsafe and must be hidden away. Today, we may have lost touch with our True Self or Inner Child, forgetting he or she is waiting to be healed.
We have many buried hurts and disappointments that get triggered when we are reminded of the circumstances surrounding our original pain. It is then that our Inner Child reacts and we may find ourselves engaged in self-destructive behaviors if we don't provide appropriate comfort and reassurance.
When we work the ACA program and take the time to uncover our pain while treating our Inner Child with unconditional love, we begin to heal. Having the courage to listen will expose the pain we denied for so long. It also will bring back to life our childlike joy and wonder. We give voice to the child within so we can finally resolve the lifetime of pain he or she has shouldered.
On this day I unconditionally support my Inner Child so we both have the freedom to heal and feel safe.
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