"Our experience shows that we often lived as victims."
Many of us may have gotten very good at playing the victim. But we tell ourselves that we didn't create that role for ourselves. Wasn't it those other people and circumstances that made us a victim?
Holding on to regrets and resentments is like wrapping ourselves in a blanket of thorns. Each minute of each day we are aware of the fact that the thorns are causing us pain, and the only comfort some of us get is thinking that at least others see how hurt we are. But nobody wants to live with a victim, not even the victim.
How different our lives and our world would be if we could go back and undo the past. But life doesn't offer us that option. What we do get is a choice, to either accept our past and work through it, or to remain a victim, letting it continue to influence who we are and what we do.
When we recite the Serenity Prayer in meetings, we need to believe the words "Accept the things I cannot change." Our past happened. As uncomfortable as it was, it can become the catalyst that helps make us stronger.
On this day I will continue to shed the blanket of thorns I've worn as a victim and wrap myself in the soft blanket of recovery.
Monday, December 14, 2020
Wednesday, December 9, 2020
Fun
"We were not taught how to have fun."
Someone in a meeting once asked what adult children do for fun. In our families of origin, many of us were too hypervigilant to have fun or experience joy. When we look back, we often struggle to remember brief moments of fun. Some of us do catch glimpses of playing with dolls or trucks, blowing dandelions, or hollering "Let's play hide and seek - you're it!"
As we begin recovery, the idea of having fun may feel foreign, but we start to learn how important it is as a way to nurture our Inner Child and our adult self. As we get healthier, we see wondrous joy and freedom in having fun. We start doing things like drawing in a sketchbook, putting together a picture puzzle, coloring, working on a craft, going for a walk, riding a horse, fishing, hiking a mountain trail, skiing, swimming, calling a friend, going to the movies, painting a picture, singing, going to the library, learning to play a musical instrument, listening to music, hugging a friend, going to a museum, sitting by the river watching a sunset, laughing with friends, taking pictures, taking a class on meditation, playing a game… the list of fun activities can go on forever.
On this day I will experience life to its fullest by being in the present and doing something fun.
Someone in a meeting once asked what adult children do for fun. In our families of origin, many of us were too hypervigilant to have fun or experience joy. When we look back, we often struggle to remember brief moments of fun. Some of us do catch glimpses of playing with dolls or trucks, blowing dandelions, or hollering "Let's play hide and seek - you're it!"
As we begin recovery, the idea of having fun may feel foreign, but we start to learn how important it is as a way to nurture our Inner Child and our adult self. As we get healthier, we see wondrous joy and freedom in having fun. We start doing things like drawing in a sketchbook, putting together a picture puzzle, coloring, working on a craft, going for a walk, riding a horse, fishing, hiking a mountain trail, skiing, swimming, calling a friend, going to the movies, painting a picture, singing, going to the library, learning to play a musical instrument, listening to music, hugging a friend, going to a museum, sitting by the river watching a sunset, laughing with friends, taking pictures, taking a class on meditation, playing a game… the list of fun activities can go on forever.
On this day I will experience life to its fullest by being in the present and doing something fun.
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