One of the easiest ways to differentiate a person who is a Psychopath from a person with Schizoid Personality Disorder is by how they are with regard to experiencing emotions. Their reactions may appear superficially similar, but they are actually almost polar opposites.
Psychopaths and Fear
I agree with Athena Walker’s position that psychopaths are born not made. Research shows that their amygdalae (we actually have two, one in each of our temporal lobes in our brain) are on average 18% smaller than normal.
The amygdala is part of our emotional processing system. It is involved in our response to fear and our ability to remember events that produced that fear. Our amygdalae normally automatically trigger our fight or flight response and are involved in our experience of anxiety.
This means that psychopaths have less capacity to experience fear, react less to stimuli that most people consider frightening, and are less likely to remember to avoid situations that are potentially dangerous.
Schizoid Personality Disorder and Fear
People with Schizoid Personality appear to have been born with normal nervous systems including normal size amygdalae. But they had traumatic childhood experiences that started before the age of four and continued. Many of my Schizoid clients suffer from complex PTSD.
Unlike the Psychpaths I know who tend to be restless, fearless, insensitive, and amoral, most of my Schizoid clients are quite sensitive, moral, and more afraid of other people than normal. They have a full set of emotions which they generally try to keep hidden. Many of my Schizoid clients write poetry that expresses their deepest feelings.
My Schizoid clients report having been emotionally and physically abused, neglected, intruded upon, and treated like a thing, not a person with feelings and rights. As babies and young children, they experienced a severe lack of attunement by their parents.
What looks like a lack of emotions is actually dissociation or hidden emotions.
Because they could not physically leave their childhood situation, they learned to dissociate from their bodies and the situation by “going away” in their heads. They also learned that expressing their emotions or asking for what they wanted was pointless. They were ignored, mocked, or abused even more.
All of the above taught them that they could only depend on themselves. Instead of turning outward for validation, they turned inward and created a rich fantasy life in which they could have safe and controllable imaginary interactions with other people.
Punchline: Psychopaths experience diminished fear responses and less stress than normal. They appear comfortable in situations where other people would feel afraid. People with Schizoid Personality Disorder are the opposite. They experience more fear than normal. They hide their feelings because they have learned to feel unsafe around most people — not because they feel less.
- Elinor Greenberg, PhD, CGP - on Quora
Wednesday, October 14, 2020
Wednesday, October 7, 2020
Moderation
"Today, when I am acting compulsively, I take a breather from that activity to moderate my behavior. Sometimes I have to say aloud, ‘I'm turning this over to God.'"
We have homes with automatic temperature controls. The heat doesn't engage until the thermostat senses there's not enough warm air, and the air conditioning does the reverse.
This process of modulation (regulating according to measure or proportion) was not present in our families of origin. Nearly every life situation either received a maximal response or was virtually ignored (denial). A parent could rage over a traffic jam, but never discuss a tragic family death.
This lack of modulation or moderation in response to life's events sent most of us into our adult lives without effective role models or acceptable ways to handle our emotions. We had two settings, MAX ON and MAX OFF, and we didn't understand why. We blew up with anger and had no clue why we were unable to grieve serious life events. We now know we were programmed to be that way.
In ACA, with the Steps and the help of a fellow traveler, we see that we're not alone. We gain serenity and can thoughtfully assess a life event, and then decide on a reasonable course of action, if action is required. We learn to do our part and then "Let Go and Let God." As we go through this process, we gain serenity.
On this day I can choose a modulated response to a situation. I choose NOT to use the reactionary or denial behaviors I learned as a child.
We have homes with automatic temperature controls. The heat doesn't engage until the thermostat senses there's not enough warm air, and the air conditioning does the reverse.
This process of modulation (regulating according to measure or proportion) was not present in our families of origin. Nearly every life situation either received a maximal response or was virtually ignored (denial). A parent could rage over a traffic jam, but never discuss a tragic family death.
This lack of modulation or moderation in response to life's events sent most of us into our adult lives without effective role models or acceptable ways to handle our emotions. We had two settings, MAX ON and MAX OFF, and we didn't understand why. We blew up with anger and had no clue why we were unable to grieve serious life events. We now know we were programmed to be that way.
In ACA, with the Steps and the help of a fellow traveler, we see that we're not alone. We gain serenity and can thoughtfully assess a life event, and then decide on a reasonable course of action, if action is required. We learn to do our part and then "Let Go and Let God." As we go through this process, we gain serenity.
On this day I can choose a modulated response to a situation. I choose NOT to use the reactionary or denial behaviors I learned as a child.
Tuesday, October 6, 2020
Inner Critic
"We stop in mid-sentence if we are putting ourselves down or criticizing our thoughts or behaviors. We identify the source of the negativity which is the inner critic inside all adult children."
Who tells us each day whether we live up to a standard?
Who lies awake each night running over the "could haves" or "should haves" for the day or for days gone by?
We weren't born with shame; it was instilled in us. We had no experience to measure or reject that shame when we were children, so we had to accept it. But who is keeping that shame alive in us today?
It's our inner critic that reflects the negative voices from our past. But we now have the choice to change that voice - to live life on our own terms and bury the "could haves" and "should haves." We are no longer required to listen to the messages that keep shame alive in our everyday thoughts.
Who puts a value on us if we do not value ourselves?
In ACA, we are accepted for who we are. We join together, not to bemoan our imperfections, but to find "the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know that one is me." Our strength in numbers gives us that courage and assures us that we are now, and always have been, valued human beings.
On this day I look at myself through the eyes of my fellow ACAs and my Higher Power. Instead of listening to my inner critic, I believe what they say - that I am valued.
Who tells us each day whether we live up to a standard?
Who lies awake each night running over the "could haves" or "should haves" for the day or for days gone by?
We weren't born with shame; it was instilled in us. We had no experience to measure or reject that shame when we were children, so we had to accept it. But who is keeping that shame alive in us today?
It's our inner critic that reflects the negative voices from our past. But we now have the choice to change that voice - to live life on our own terms and bury the "could haves" and "should haves." We are no longer required to listen to the messages that keep shame alive in our everyday thoughts.
Who puts a value on us if we do not value ourselves?
In ACA, we are accepted for who we are. We join together, not to bemoan our imperfections, but to find "the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know that one is me." Our strength in numbers gives us that courage and assures us that we are now, and always have been, valued human beings.
On this day I look at myself through the eyes of my fellow ACAs and my Higher Power. Instead of listening to my inner critic, I believe what they say - that I am valued.
Monday, October 5, 2020
Enjoy Life
"We learn how to play and enjoy life."
Many of us who grew up in [alcoholic or] dysfunctional homes had little time or opportunity for play. Faced with adult chaos, much of our early life was spent in survival mode.
We learn that living life in our rearview mirror is not really living. Letting go of the past allows us to experience the present without the blinders that keep us from joy.
But where is the joy? It's not something that we can just sit around and wait for. Joy is to be sought. It's everywhere, but it must be found; it will not find us. We must open our eyes, our minds, and our hearts to search it out.
Joy is giving to others with no expectation of return. It's hugging someone who needs it or stopping at a shelter to walk a homeless dog. When we bring joy to others we bring it into our own lives.
On this day I will find the joy that is all around me that's just waiting for me to experience it.
[Editing is mine.]
Many of us who grew up in [alcoholic or] dysfunctional homes had little time or opportunity for play. Faced with adult chaos, much of our early life was spent in survival mode.
We learn that living life in our rearview mirror is not really living. Letting go of the past allows us to experience the present without the blinders that keep us from joy.
But where is the joy? It's not something that we can just sit around and wait for. Joy is to be sought. It's everywhere, but it must be found; it will not find us. We must open our eyes, our minds, and our hearts to search it out.
Joy is giving to others with no expectation of return. It's hugging someone who needs it or stopping at a shelter to walk a homeless dog. When we bring joy to others we bring it into our own lives.
On this day I will find the joy that is all around me that's just waiting for me to experience it.
[Editing is mine.]
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)